Simple Living Isn’t About Depriving

“Simple living isn’t about depriving; it’s about getting rid of what doesn’t belong to make room for what does.” – Erin Doland

Nearly three years ago when we evaluated our life, our stuff, and our debt, I wish I had these words of wisdom ringing in my ears.  During those times, I felt an energy.  An excitement.   I wanted to simplify my life, but had no idea where to begin.

My thoughts felt against the grain.  What I wanted seemed like a simple life.  It seemed like the life of poor people.  Simple lives are unconventional.  They aren’t poor, they’re actually very rich.

No tv.  No grill.  No patio furniture.  No monthly shopping trips.  At first, I liked the challenge of being deprived, in a survival of the fittest kind of way.

It wasn’t until several months into my challenge that I realized I wasn’t deprived at all.  I hadn’t really missed my things, because they weren’t important to me to begin with.

Eating out however was another story.  We’d cut our eating out budget drastically to $50/month.  It was doable, and we did it.  But we were miserable.  We caught ourselves eating unhealthy choices because they were cheaper.  We felt deprived.

Simple living isn’t about depriving.  It’s about making room for what matters. We were wasting money on goods and services that were insignificant to us.  By getting rid of those, we made room for things that made us happy like eating out.

We had hard evidence that we could strip away the crap to make room for the important.  But this was only the beginning. We eventually ditched all of our things, so we could begin from scratch.

Here’s to rebuilding…

We thought rebuilding would be an incredible experience.  We could include anything we wanted.

While we had the freedom, it took exploring to learn how to utilize it.  We had been trained for so long to find “stability” in our things.  Now we had none.  We had to rediscover how we really wanted to shape our life without letting the crap sneak back in.

1.  Scrap the plan

Now that we weren’t strapped to a place, we decided to travel abroad as a family (two adults, one infant) to “live in Australia”.  Adventurous right?  Not entirely.  We had an exact plan for where we would live and work.  We wanted  no surprises. After three days in Australia, we left our plans behind and began backpacking. Soon after that, we landed in New Zealand.

We realized that there are opportunities we don’t know about yet.  By planning too much ahead, those great life opportunities will slip by your fine-tuned agenda unnoticed.

To Start:  What is your grand plan?  How did you create that plan?  How would you like to spend your day, the whole week, the month if nothing else mattered?  There are options for doing what you love every day.  Find them.

2.  Relationships Overrule

We were mostly sad to leave home because of relationships.  While traveling, we preferred meeting locals to exploring famous landmarks.  We knew that making new and maintaining old relationships were a core part of our happiness.

Within our family, our relationship with each other became more prominent.  We shifted from “make a lot of money, have lots of nice things, enjoying each other when we’re well-off” to “Learned to live now, because for all we know, we may be poor for the rest of our lives.  But we’re sure as hell going to enjoy it.”

To Start: Always too tired to spend time with friends or family after work?  Is it like that every day or just on occasion?  We get caught in race to be successful or make more.  We work so hard that we view this time as a “sacrifice” for the good life.  Don’t spit away the people in your life now.  I’ve always said, “It will be nice to have that great big paycheck, until you realize you have no one left to share it with.”

3.  It’s okay to move slowly

I am a proud multi-tasker.  I love checking off to-do lists.  I always think I should be doing something, going somewhere.  What happens if I don’t do the dishes today?  Or tomorrow?!  I spend time existing with my family instead of swarming through the house picking up behind them. I have time to really listen to conversations.

I also learned to plan less in my day from living carless.  I LOVED my carless days.  Surprisingly, I became more punctual.  When walking or taking public transport, travel time is a little less predictable, so you have to give yourself plenty of time.

To Start: Think about the household stresses you have.  Are each of those tasks really important?  Is it a family need or just a personal standards you’ve set?  Could you develop a new system so everyone is engaged in household clean-up?  Are you just “serving your time” in certain groups or clubs?  Nobody says you have to do any of these tasks.  You’ve designed this routine.  Start remodeling your day.

4.  Pick one or two hobbies

I’m guilty of being interested in too many things at one time.  I’ve never felt really accomplished in any one area.  Over the last two years, I’ve learned to commit to one or two hobbies.  I don’t feel guilty dedicating time or money to my hobbies, because I’ve cleared a space for it.

To Start:  Are you struggling to keep up with clubs, practices, maintenance?  Clear out a few hobbies.  Get really good at one or two, instead of dabbling in several.  Try to come up with a hobby the whole family can enjoy so everyone isn’t involved in different activities.  Most importantly, have a hobby.  Everyone needs playtime, and hobbies are the most justifiable source!

In all the beautiful landscapes and biological wonders I’ve seen, nothing compares to the freedom of shaping my life.  I live a different life.  An unconventional life.  But I certainly don’t live a deprived life.  What’s holding you back from designing your life?  Begin remodeling.

Are you living an unconventional life?  Would you like to be?  What’s one thing that you need to strip away?