Kids, spouses, family friends- everyone is around yet you feel so lonely. You are in two places, but not enjoying either.
Feels like someone woke you up out of your sleep to tell you something. Your mind is partly there and partly trying to hold on to the dream you were having. It’s hazy.
During the day, you courteously maintain your routines, put on a happy face, small talk, but you are itching for a spark, something citric, a belly laugh, edge, giddiness, SOMETHING!
Don’t feel pity for yourself!
Pity will turn your grey sky a shade darker. Do something about it!
There are five things I do immediately to bust a funk, so I can feel happy again:
1. Sit upside down on the couch or hang over the edge of my bed. Either way, get your feet in the air! It feels good to feel the blood rushing, and you can’t help but feel youthful with your body flipped around.
2. Close the shades, shut the door. Shake it. Body roll, shimmy, move it, because “Hey mommy, you sexy!” If you are little more hardcore, have a mini-mosh to let your rage out.
3. Take off your bra. Lose the underwear. Go freestyle in some way.
4. Work out your funk. Run, walk, swim, bike, dance it out. I’m known for a slightly bizarre method of meditation. When I run, I isolate a problem. I start from my head and “gather and push” the problem down through my body, careful not to leave any of it behind. Eventually it exits through my feet. Then I move on to the next one. I know it sounds weird; try it, and you’ll be amazed at the focus you gain.
5. Devote an hour to a child, pet, friend, or spouse. No interruptions. No agenda. I find I tend to get into funks when I’m trying to multi-task the wrong pair of tasks. Like trying to write or work on the computer while watching my child. Disaster waiting to happen. If I devote that time to engaging her or doing a chore she can help with, then we are both happier and more sound.
Most importantly remember that it’s hard to enjoy the things around you when you don’t enjoy yourself. Once you’ve learned to love yourself, you’ll finally understand why the people in your life enjoy you. Sometimes, we find it hard to believe.
If I’m still feeling a bit funky, I refer to Rowdy Kitten’s 8 Simple Tips to Overcome Loneliness to rebuild my spirit.
Tried Plan A and Plan B, but still not cutting it. Check out my friend Stephanie St. Clair at Blissbombed for advice on tackling those deeper conflicts.
Lastly, I go through these cycles a couple times a year. Plan A and B always bust my funk. In fact, in college, my roommates and I coined the saying “Courtney’s Back” when I could finally bust it. So here’s to you. Get busting, because you are coming back.
What strategies do you use for busting the funk? How often do you get in a funk? Do you find it happens more now that you are married, have kids, or are committed to a career?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent. I had a horrific funk yesterday, so I channeled it into a fiery post I had been trying to write. Went for a walk in the sunshine, then had a call from a focus group to make $100 tomorrow. Followed by some great emails and freelance leads. Followed by an inspiration for a great new creative goal.
I agree, sometimes you’re focusing on the wrong tasks.
I’ve also found doing something nice for someone else, even if it’s reaching out b/c you have a hunch they’re having a hard time is a big mood booster.
Btw, I showed my husband your Milligan does the catwalk photos and he’s inspired to get that camera we’ve been talking about and get busy learning.
I definitely feel better when I help other people. I create this vicious cycle with my funk where I feel guilty for having it, so I feel worse. Then I feel guilty for feeling worse. If I focus on helping someone eles, usually my funk works itself out.
Fingers crossed about the camera. I can’t wait to see your progress as you learn!
Lovely! Thank you for this post. I’m in a little stressed out and in a funk at the moment. Too much chocolate and not enough single tasking/fun. I tried your “push the problem out your toes” on my run this morning. Need to work on my technique =)
Your #1 reminds me of this thing I do called The Ladybug — I lay on my back and wiggle my arms and legs in the air uncontrollably. It feels great!
And AMEN to ditching the bra! Seriously, bras are awful and when I’m wearing one I almost always feel worse than when I’m not. They’re usually too tight and constrictive… and when I feel that physically I start feeling that emotionally. Not cool at all.
Ha! I just gave The Ladybug a go, and the laughter was infectious throughout the RV. Milli decided to join in!
We have a chaise lounge for a couch, and I love to sit on it backward with legs over the backrest when I feel stuck and look up the wall instead of at it.
Sorry we didn’t get to meet up with y’all while you were in town! Alex was not feeling very well that week. Perhaps we’ll meet in Portland in June if we decide to brave the masses!
Great post! One of the things that I like to do is to put on some feel good music. Nothing gets me smiling more than great tunes. Another kind of silly thing I like to do is play airplane with my husband. He lays on his back with his feet up and I balance my hips on his feet while he holds my arms (like and airplane) Looks and sounds absolutely ridiculous but it always makes us both bust a gut! (and the kids like it too!)
I know the airplane! And honestly, I don’t think I’ve done that since I was a teenager. Sounds like a real tension reducer.
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